Matthew J. Barbour Gets Us in the Holiday Mood with ‘The Twelve Days of Black Mass’

Stuff like this always floats my boat. Perhaps it’s my love for the season and the strange connection it shares with horror (you’ll realize Santa’s kind of a creepy dude when you start thinking of all those home invasions and his affinity for young children), perhaps it’s the gloomy weather that rolls in with the dark, melancholy cloud formations (you’ll often spot some chilling stuff in those bastards). Whatever it is, Christmas is an okay time of the year for me, and I’m hoping to stumble upon more gems like this one, from the insanely talented HNR contributor Matthew J. Barbour.

This little spin on a classic jingle is exactly the kind of thing that gives way for big smiles and evil laughter. Check it out, Matt wrote it for his kids, and my money says they’re going to love it!

The Twelve Days of Black Mass

By: Matthew J. Barbour 

On the first day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

A plague rat in a withered tree.

On the second day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the third day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the fourth day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the fifth day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the sixth day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Six ghouls-a-lurking,

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the seventh day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Seven sirens singing,

Six ghouls-a-lurking,

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the eighth day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Eight hags-a-cursing,

Seven sirens singing,

Six ghouls-a-lurking,

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the ninth day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Nine ghosts screaming,

Eight hags-a-cursing,

Seven sirens singing,

Six ghouls-a-lurking,

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the tenth day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Ten zombies-a-chewing,

Nine ghosts screaming,

Eight hags-a-cursing,

Seven sirens singing,

Six ghouls-a-lurking,

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the eleventh day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Eleven werewolves barking,

Ten zombies-a-chewing,

Nine ghosts screaming,

Eight hags-a-cursing,

Seven sirens singing,

Six ghouls-a-lurking,

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree.

On the twelfth day of Black Mass,

My true love sent to me:

Twelve demons devouring,

Eleven werewolves barking,

Ten zombies-a-chewing,

Nine ghosts screaming,

Eight hags-a-cursing,

Seven sirens singing,

Six ghouls-a-lurking,

Five severed thumbs,

Four cantankerous crows,

Three hounds of doom,

Two spitting cobras,

And a plague rat in a withered tree!